t h e o w h i t e l i g h t o p l a y

whitelight the play o coming out survey o performers o links

Top Ten Tips for Coming Out

1. 'Don't be scared'
2. 'Speak to someone
close to you'
3. 'Persevere'
4. 'Do it in your own time'
5. 'Do it for yourself'
6. 'Give parents time to
get used to the idea'
7. 'Pick you time carefully'
8. 'Remember there is
a lot of support out there'
9. 'Ignore small minds'
10.'Don't do it during a row'

We have written two articles relating to the findings of the LIK:T survey:

Survey on young lesbian and bisexual women's coming out experience related to education, health organisations and services

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Survey on experiences of 'Coming Out'

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Survey on experiences of 'Coming Out'

LIK:T carried out a survey on just under an 100 young lesbian and bisexual women in the Manchester area on their experiences of 'coming out'. The survey found that 86% of these women had 'come out' to most people in their lives, whilst the rest had 'come out' to someone close to them. The age that the respondents 'came out' ranged from eleven to thirty-six, although many women discussed coming out as 'process' that you 'gradually do over time'. For example, many women 'came out' firstly to their friends and then to their family or visa versa.

Overall the respondents were glad they had 'come out' even if they had found it 'difficult at the time'. Some stated the negative reactions that they faced when they first came out, such as their parents being 'shocked' or their friends being 'weary' of them for a while. However, these negative reactions were mainly short lived with most family members and friends 'coming round to the idea in the end'. Other reactions included the classic 'it is just a phase', this reaction seems to be widespread and on going for many of these women.

On the other hand, many had positive reaction from the friends, family or professionals that they came out to. A large proportion of the women surveyed talked about how 'supportive' their friends and family were. Some even found that their friends had already guessed they were gay or bisexual and one women's best friend reaction to her saying 'I'm gay' was 'Me too'!. Only one respondent discussed how she wished she had not come out as she was currently having 'a hard time from friends and family'.

The women explained how the most important things about coming out for them were that they could be 'true to themselves', 'not live a lie' and be 'accepted for who they really were'. Many women said they felt 'freer' since coming out and it gave them a sense of 'pride'. Through coming out some women had found new friends and were pleased that they could now introduce their girlfriend to their family. There was also a sense of needing to be 'visible' and out so that they could 'fight against prejudice'.

About half of the women surveyed came out at school. Many faced 'bullying' and 'homophobia' at school but most also commented on how 'great' their closed friends had been. The thing that these women viewed as most vital to reducing homophobia in society was in fact 'education'. Many discussed a need to 'teach gay and lesbian issues in school' to encourage 'acceptance', 'understanding' and 'to help gay people have a better image of themselves'. It was said that homophobia should be 'tackled head on in schools and not side lined'. 'Changes in the law', more 'acceptances in churches', better 'media portrayals' and more people 'being out' were also viewed as important in reducing homophobia.

Although most women discussed many positive things about 'coming out', they equally discussed how they believed it was very important for people to only come out 'if they wanted to', and to do it 'in their own time' and 'for themselves'.

Top Ten Tips for Coming Out

1. 'Don't be scared'
2. 'Speak to someone close to you'
3. 'Persevere'
4. 'Do it in your own time'
5. 'Do it for yourself'
6. 'Give parents time to get used to the idea'
7. 'Pick you time carefully'
8. 'Remember there is a lot of support out there'
9. 'Ignore small minds'
10.'Don't do it during a row'

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Survey on young lesbian and bisexual women's coming out experience related to education, health organisations and survices

LIK:T carried out a survey on a 100 young lesbian and bisexual women in the Manchester area on their experiences in education and health organisations. The respondents' age ranged from 17 to 44. The majority of the women were white, British and did not have any disabilities.

The survey found that whilst 87% of these women had received some sort of sex education at school, only 2% had been informed about sexual health issues relevant to lesbian and bisexual women. This is in spite of the fact that 97% of the surveyed group believed that people in school should get sexual health education that includes information for lesbian and bisexual women. Alongside this, only 75% felt that homophobia was challenged in schools. The survey indicated that this homophobia included: homophobic bullying, which was experience by 1 in 4 of the respondents; a lack of access to reading material on issues related to lesbian and bisexual women, with only 3% could access such material at school; and negative responses to lesbian and bisexual women by teachers, experienced by 18% of these women.

Overall the respondents were unhappy with the health system in general. Within the health system, only half of the women surveyed would ask their doctor about issues to do with lesbian or bisexual sexual health. This is worrying when considering the fact that 71% of the respondents has experienced a doctor or other medical professionals assuming they were straight, in the context of insisting they should be on a contraception pill as they were sexually active, talking about the women's sexual partner as a 'he' and not believing them when they say they are definitely not pregnant. As well as this, there was only two accounts of doctor and other medical professionals proactively discussing issues relevant to lesbian and bisexual women's without the women asking about it first. Moreover, just under 10% of the women had been 'outed' by someone in the medical professional to friends or family.

The majority of these women use informal networks of friends to find out information relevant to being a lesbian and bisexual woman. This was seen as beneficial as it is seen as easier to talk about such things in an informal way. However, 12% of these women used this informal information as their main route of gaining information.

When asked what they would do as the head of a school to challenge homophobia and make lesbian and bisexual women feel accepted, welcome and able to come, the respondants gave the following tips:

1. Supply better and more accessible sources of information on issues effecting lesbian and bisexual women,

2. Provide someone for these young women to talk to, such as a counsellor,

3. Provide sexual health education, which includes issues effecting lesbian and bisexual women as well as education on sexuality,

4. Have clear homophobic bullying policies,

5. Don't assume everyone is heterosexual,

6. Promote positive images of homosexuality, bisexuality and diversity in general,

7. Enable gay teachers to feel comfortable in being out as gay,

8. Include lesbian and bisexual issues on the curriculum,

9. Set up support groups and social groups for lesbian and bisexual women and

10. Provide training for staff on issues relevant to lesbian and bisexual women.